Breakups

I’ve said it before, but this whole thing with Gracie’s former school feels like a bad breakup. Although I’m glad we are no longer dealing with the drama, I’m still reeling from the trauma. I feel sad that it ended, remembering all the good times we had doing school events and with school staff. Much like how you lose your friendships with your ex’s siblings and friends in a breakup, I will miss the friends we made at the school and the good times we had.

I have been broken up with once before and it was awful. My ex and I were together for about 6 years. We dated for 4 years, then he proposed (finally!) and we were engaged for another 2. He left me about 7 months after the wedding; he said he just didn’t want what I wanted but really he crushed my Cinderella dreams. I had been naive, innocent, full of hope and expectations for the future. I was a Charlotte, for sure. When he left, my world fell apart. No more dreaming of babies, no more growing old together, no more happily ever after. And no more friendships with his mom and sister – I’m sure they barely remember me but we had some good times.

Something amazing came from that awful event, though. I met Chad, and things are better with him than they ever could have been with the ex. Of course, it’s not always perfect – like any couple, we have disagreements and are not always happy with each other. But we love each other ferociously. We will never give up our love for each other. We will never walk away from our future – or our present. We really do have a happily ever after… even if it’s a work in progress. And it’s a good thing, too, because raising Gracie has rocked us to our cores.

This whole business with the school is just another event in our crazy timeline with Grace. We barely catch our breath between traumatic events – infections, school stuff, dealing with her disabilities, trying to get people to accept her, etc. We rarely have a moment of peace. To say our lives are stressful is like saying the ocean is a little damp. But you know, good things have come of all this stress, too. Chad and I have become better parents and better spouses through all this. We have found some amazing helpers in our journey. We have gotten through each trauma, shaken maybe, but still alive, still going.

Someday, I hope we’ll look back on the drama with Gracie’s school and think, “Gee, I’m glad that happened, because look what good came out of it.” I never thought I’d say that about breaking up with the ex but I’m so happy to have the life I have now. Someday, maybe I’ll feel the same way about losing the school.

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